Love and parents Your parents don't like your friend? They say that he/she is not a suitable match for you? If your answers are "yes", one can't envy you. The tension in your family increases and you are waiting for an ultimatum at any moment. Your parents can force you to choose between them and your half. This problem can occur with every young person, but in the majority of cases girls come across this hardship more often than boys. Though our society strives for equality of women and men, our parents still live according old social stereotypes and give more independence for boys, and are more exacting towards girls. How should a person act if he/she is forced to make such a difficult choice? The choice between your private life and your parents' home is unnatural. Talk to your parents frankly. Ask them to explain to you clearly why they dislike your half. Perhaps they underestimate him/her and have a distorted picture of him/her. Maybe they exaggerate his/her drawbacks and diminish his/her merits. You should tell them about your relationship with this person. Explain to them that this person is very important to you. Don't hide your love. Young people tend to keep their beloved person out from parents and don't let parents into their personal life. This fact makes parents too suspicious about your ties. They think that if you hide details of your relationship, it means that you have serious reasons for that. It increases their concern very much. Your parents must know that they can rely on your friend. Maybe they simply lack confidence in your half. If so, it is your fault. If you are too reserved, it evokes false rumours and idle talks. While your mother strongly opposes your relationship with your half, father observes neutrality. Use this situation and enlist your father's support. Thus you won't be alone and it will be easier to facilitate your mother's indignation. If your boy (girl) is interested in your relationship, he/she can try to impress on your parents. No matter how successful this attempt will be, the very fact of its existence is likely to be appreciated by your parents. If nothing helps and your parents remain adamant, but your love is strong and you have serious plans for your future with this person, you have to make a mature decision. However wise your parents could be, it is your own life and you have an exclusive right to decide how to live it. You shouldn't allow other people make a choice instead of you. Respect your parents but don't let them manipulate you. If you can avoid moneyed assistance, you must tell your parents that you are able to make your choice yourself. Otherwise you will never enter adult life and won't be able to make decisions and make plans for your future. It doesn't mean that you must break relations with your parents. Try to do your best to preserve peace. |