Unhappy love Owing to films and books many people have love stereotypes and build their personal life according to it. The main idea of these stereotypes is that real love must always contain suffering. Curiously enough many people think that absence of suffering means lack or even total absence of love. Almost every person has experienced obsessive love and fever pitch. This can happen with any type of personality. When strong love enters our life, the whole world is concentrated on one person, which becomes the topic for all our talks, which is present in all our thoughts and reminiscences. We tend to overlook all drawbacks of this person and exaggerate his/her merits. Even if this person lacks advantages, we can easily correct this situation, endowing him/her with imaginary qualities. Thus we become fully submitted to this person and can't control ourselves and let our feelings govern our actions. Our existence depends on this person and we feel unhappy and lonely when he/she is not near. If such a strong love is experienced by a woman, it frightens her man. Men are usually afraid of being loved so much and want to escape from these passionate women. Women in turn understanding the approaching break-up begin to fight for their love and the period of prolonged pleas begins. This strong dependence on another person has all symptoms of mental illness. It is accompanied by obsessive thoughts, which are very difficult to get rid of, anxiety and uneasiness. These symptoms cause heartbeat, lack of appetite and chronic insomnia. These consequences aggravate these symptoms and their power grows exponentially. This chronic strain exhausts organism and drains one's spirit. It is not surprising, that such a fever pitch occurs among young people. Another case is when it happens among grown-up and mature people. They experience these feelings again and again and their life doesn't seem to teach them to avoid these mistakes. This type of addiction as any other its types is very difficult to get rid of, but nothing is impossible. Don't go the limit and don't fall into despair. If a person can love, he/she should be also able to love him/herself. The main reason of unhappy love is inability to love yourself. If we underestimate ourselves and don't accept ourselves, other people will treat us the same way. Other people think of us the same what we think about ourselves. Accepting yourself doesn't imply denial of self-improvement. A little bit of rational egoism is relevant in this situation. Stop playing up to other people. Think about yourself. True love always brings happiness. It is not a servile dependence on another person but freedom. Love must give you an opportunity to share it with your beloved person and receive it in response. If we have an opportunity to love and to be loved simultaneously, we get a huge amount of energy. True love implies spiritual stability and emotional security. Leave all sufferings for literary characters. |